Thursday, March 12, 2020

How to Thrive During a Quarantine - Advice from a Frequently Homebound Human

More and more people are finding their work, events, and travel canceled as the spread of COVID-19 reaches pandemic levels.  Even if these things are still going on, there are compelling arguments that the most pro-social thing you can do is stay home.  (Those of us at-risk people thank you for your cooperation!)  For many people, this means days, or even weeks spent stuck at home.  Such a quarantine probably seems like a scarier prospect than the virus itself!


For me, being stuck at home is just life as usual.  Though I've been enjoying better health lately, a large part of my life for the past several years has been lived within the walls of my home.  And here's what I've learned  - while not ideal, a homebound life can still be a good one!

So here's some advice on how to stay sane and maybe even have a bit of fun with this quarantine thing.

Keep Structure

One of the hardest parts of a life not marked by work/school days, social events, and outings is the lack of external structure.   If you are usually busy to the point of stress, a few days off from the daily grind will seem like a gift.  But as days turn to weeks, you'll find unstructured time has its own negative effects on mental health.  As humans we need to do things to stay happy and healthy.  (My whole career is based on this!)

The best way I've found to give life meaning and to stay engaged in the absence of external structure is to make and stick to a life structure that I design myself.

Here's what that looks like:

-I set an alarm everyday, even if I have no reason to wake up at a particular time.  I'm not going to torture myself with a 5AM wake up each day, but I'm not going to let myself sleep until 12 either.  Setting an alarm helps keep me on a good sleep schedule and prevents me sleeping the day away - something I would gladly do! 

-I have routines that I (mostly) stick to.  This isn't bootcamp, I'm not a stickler for rigid routines, but I do like using them as guides.  I feel best when I get ready in the morning, even if I'm not going anywhere.  I sleep best when I stick to my nightly routine of getting ready for bed and then listening to audiobooks and playing games on my ipad.  Time passes quickest when I mark it by taking care of my dog, exercising, sitting down to family meals, and spending part of each morning attending to business like checking e-mail and calling doctors or insurance companies.

-I have a slight addiction to lists, particularly to-do lists.  Each week I have a list of things I need to do which serves many purposes.  First, it helps my ADHD brain remember what needs doing.  If I try to juggle everything in my head, it's overwhelming and turns into a big mess.  Second, there's the abundance of joy and satisfaction when checking something off as done.  On days when I don't have external rewards for my efforts, those check marks are pretty exciting.  (Maybe I love lists a little too much?)  Finally, at the end of the day, week, or month, if I feel like all I've done is bum around the house, I can look back at my completed lists and see a record of my magnificent accomplishments.  So make some lists and tackle them with enthusiasm.

-I like to include other people in my structure.  Even for a veteran like me, it's hard to maintain structure all by myself.  If you live with others, you already have some structure built in based on the daily rhythms of life together.  You can take it a step further by planning fun activities together or by asking someone to help hold you accountable for getting things done.  For friends and family outside your household, go ahead and have that weekly coffee date!  Just make your own coffee at home and sip it while you video chat.

Stay Healthy

Even if I don't get the virus, being housebound will challenge my health.  It will be a little too easy to turn slothish and get the blues.  I have a plan though, and here's what it is...

-I'm going to make an effort to go outside everyday.  For now, there isn't a strict quarantine where I live, so I'll take advantage of that and go on walks around my neighborhood.  I'll also spend time in my yard doing regular outdoorsy stuff like gardening and some usually indoorsy stuff like writing or reading.  Getting outside will help reduce that trapped in a cage feeling one can get if one stays in the same place too long.

-In addition to getting outside when I can, I'll also bring the outside to me when I'm indoors.  I try to spend most of my time inside near an open window or in a sunny spot in the house.  That ambient sound of birds, wind, and even cars is very relaxing and helps me feel connected with the greater world.

-I'm going exercise.  I won't have a gym or pool or exercise class to go to, so I'll use what I do have.   If I'm lucky, I'll go on walks, but if not, I'll lay right down on my living room floor and fend the dog off as I do bridges, leg lifts, and other no-equipment-needed strengthening exercises.  I have a set of stairs for some cardio or plenty of free guided exercise videos online.  And if I'm really inspired, I could walk laps around my house as I listen to the same music or podcasts I'd usually listen to on a proper walk.  The point is to stay as active as possible!

-Being inside all day means being close to food.  I've learned that I should only eat when hungry, never when just bored, and when I do snack, I should stay mindful of what I eat.  I'd love to live on chocolate milk and cookies, but that's not going to keep me healthy.  To reduce temptation, I try to arrange things so that healthy food is more accessible than junk food.

-Staying busy and socially connected, as I mentioned above, will also help me beat the cooped up blues.

Pass the Time

Even with all that work keeping structure and staying healthy, there will probably be more free time than I know what to do with.  It would be excruciating to watch the time tick by if I had to make each minute count in the way we often have to in normal life.

So, just this once, embrace the time sinks - the games that hypnotize us, the websites that suck us in, the binge-worthy media that can keep us on the sofa for hours.  Spend part of each day being productive, but also spend part of it just messing around.  Find your balance between the two strategies that lets you go to sleep at night feeling good and looking forward to tomorrow.

(Stay tuned for a companion post where this world class time waster gives some suggestions.)


See the Opportunity

When I was in training to be an orientation leader in college, we had a great curriculum that, among other things, taught us to "Choose Our Attitude."  So how am I going to choose to see this quarantine?

It will be easy to feel trapped, frustrated, isolated....and on and on.  And I probably will feel that way sometimes.  But most of the time I'll try to accept the situation and make the best of of it.  Just like I've done during countless homebound days in the past.

It's not unemployment and boredom and isolation...it's a temporary retirement.  It's a time to work on hobbies, to learn to do that thing I never have time for, to make the time for keeping in touch with my friends.

This isn't just a unique situation.  It's a unique opportunity.  And if all else fails, it's temporary.

So hunker down and try to enjoy this temporary retirement.   I've done it for years and you can do it too!







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